Adding More ~ing To My Life

As soon as I began to read Gabrielle Bernstein’s book Add More ~ing To Your Life (~ing stands for inner guidance), I felt a marked internal shift. At first there was a bit of uneasiness because my ego knew that what I was reading was about to shake things up, and it wasn’t too thrilled. But, within pages I also felt a sense of compassion, love and peace. I settled right into her poignant, no-nonsense, validating messages.

Overcome With Fears

By the end of the first chapter, I was ready to apply what I had learned in some way. My way is writing, so I wrote like crazy. So much came pouring out – many “long-buried negative beliefs” - in Gabrielle’s words. You name it, from money, body perceptions, career to relationship stuff. I wrote and cried. Cried and wrote.

For me, it all boiled down to one thing - not feeling good enough, feeling inadequate - feeling unworthy. I’m not competent enough, I’m not attractive enough, I’m not worthy of making more money, I’m not enough of an expert in my field, I’m not enough. Ouch!!!

It’s not like these are the thoughts and judgments I have about myself every minute of every day. Most days and most moments I feel like I’m capable and resourceful, not so unfortunate looking, do great work and have been given the gift of many skills.

But, when I’m triggered by fear-based feelings of insecurity or embarrassment or guilt, those “long-buried negative beliefs” don’t feel all too buried. In fact, they’re right there on the surface facing me as though they had always been there by my side to pour some more salt onto what feels like a current wound. They’re there to continue to hurt the little girl in me, who first experienced the wound, who needs some healing sumthin’ fierce.

Open Arms

In just a few short chapters of Add More ~ing To Your Life has given me the confidence and courage to face many of my past wounds and to forgive the little girl who was hurt so long ago. I’m now strengthening my relationship with her, welcoming her into my life instead of shutting the door on her. I’m embracing her when she visits instead of wronging her.

I don’t need to fix her or change her. I just need to listen to her when she arises. Looking at her won’t make it worse. Rather, a little discomfort will eventually take me on a path toward increased healing. I have decided to do my best to look at my wounds, when triggered, with love and forgiveness, as this is the only way toward true healing. If I ignore her or try to cut her off, I’m only deepening the wound. I’m reinforcing her feelings of unworthiness.

Listen~ing        

A key message in Add More ~ing To Your Life is that by sharpening our listening skills, of our inner guidance, happiness, love, compassion, all the amazing things we want to feel all the time, will become a lower hanging fruit. We also do this by sharpening our listening skills when we are triggered by our fears, by facing the more difficult emotions we experience, by addressing hurtful situations and by allowing ourselves to walk through our discomfort, our pain vs. pushing it away.

By learning to listen to our inner guidance, we learn to develop a muscle, a skill for choosing love over fear, as Gabrielle has stated. And over time, we then begin to replace our old, negative misbeliefs with an updated, more accurate, new story that will slowly feel more and more believable.

Choos~ing Love

Along with the countless, profound messages on each page of Add More ~ing To Your Life, I have uncovered a valuable key to unlocking the door to my happiness, to the love that exists within me. I’ve been expecting my negative beliefs – misbeliefs or myths – to go away just because I acknowledged and “dealt with” them once, maybe twice or even eight times. 

One of my favorite quotes from the book is…

“Each day your ego is waiting to attempt to pull you down to its level. Therefore, embrace the attitude of progress, not perfection, and if you find yourself falling down a notch or two, don’t fret – just dust yourself off, lift yourself up and keep on climbing.”

This is life…in our imperfect human, physical form. It’s all about choosing love and happiness, which is always there, inside of us at the core of our souls, ready to be selected and released. Love and happiness are not some unattainable emotions. They may feel fleeting because we will often feel triggered by people, things, situations, conflict, you name it, around us that may temporarily awake our egos, our fears. But, love and happiness are always there, latent, within us ready to awake when we need it, when we choose it.