Gifts Of Gratitude

A few weeks ago I wrote about Thankfulfor. I tell everyone I meet about this site. I love it! A couple weeks ago one of the founders, Jen Consalvo, asked me if I’d like to write a guest post. I could barely contain my excitement when I got her email! Are you kidding? WOULD I?!

I was inspired to write about gratitude and how it has impacted, as well as confused me. As I mention in the post, the idea of gratitude, while beautiful to me, has always felt a bit too lofty. The problem for me was that lots of people talk about the importance of gratitude, yet few people explain why it’s so important. While I got the messages intellectually, I had to grasp them emotionally. For me, the only way to get there was by doing.

Thankfulfor has given me the gift of doing, to develop a practice of gratitude. Regularly and consciously telling myself and others all that I have to be grateful for has given me a sense of optimism, trust and presence, for which I’m eternally grateful. Today, Thankfulfor posted what I wrote, which I encourage you to also check out on their Blog.

Gifts Of Gratitude

Soul Food

A few months ago, I hit a wall with my business and in my life. I wasn’t doing as well as I’d hoped, as well as I knew I was capable of doing. I had too many not-so-helpful patterns (e.g., habits, core beliefs, etc.) getting in my own way of thriving, not just surviving, in life. To change my life and unleash the real potential in me, I knew I had to change my (less than grateful) attitude and my behavior.

At the root of my recent life change is gratitude mixed with intention. I was hungry for change. I wanted and still want to cultivate a happy, joyful life. I want to be thankful for everything in and around my life. I want to raise my awareness of my everyday delights, not just frustrations. I want to notice the typical and the extraordinary moments that make up each day.

I’ve never been a gratitude skeptic, but I wasn’t exactly an embracer of it either. In the past, it’s felt too lofty, too unattainable. I didn’t really understand how to go from curmudgeon to Buddha. I’m not a Porsche; I don’t go from 0 to 60 in 30 seconds. 

There’s quite a bit of research around the impact of gratitude and how it boosts happiness, but that still wasn’t enough to convince me to develop gratitude-evoking habits in the past. Coincidentally (or not), I came across Thankfulfor when I was truly ready to embrace its power and, most importantly, the practice of gratitude about a month ago. While my mind always “got it,” my heart, too, was now on board. Because of Thankfulfor, I can’t think of what not to be Thankfulfor.

Power Of Practice

Let’s be real, life is chaotic. So, the practice of gratitude can be one more to-do we have to cross of our daily checklist, one more reminder of how we fall short. Umm, no thanks. I have like plenty of stuff I can feel badly about and don’t need any help in that category.

But, it’s the practice of gratitude that unleashes the true power of it. This is where you get the biggest bang for your buck or, in this case, your time. The actual act of choosing to focus on what’s going well changes your mindset. It does exactly that. It helps you focus on what’s going well.

This is what Thankfulfor has done for me. It gave me the gift of developing my own gratitude practice. I’ve done my own version of a gratitude challenge and have had almost immediate results. The ritual of announcing to myself and others all that I have to be grateful for has given me a sense of optimism, trust and presence.

Optimism.

Wow, did I need an attitude adjustment sumthin’ fierce. I’d been feeling pretty down on what I wasn’t getting done everyday. But in this past month, my brain instantly switched from seeing the glass half empty to half full. Instantly. I began to notice and focus on my productivity, my accomplishments and my successes....what I’m truly capable of.

Just for kicks, I occasionally ask myself what I feel bothered by. I’m actually at a loss when I do this. I have to actively think about it and sometimes still have trouble coming up with an answer. I now have a mental block against my pet peeves, which are typically front and center. I now feel more connected to myself and tapped into the inspiration within and around me. I feel energized instead of empty. I feel happy and hopeful.

Trust.

The anxiety I often feel with the small stuff has decreased tremendously. I may have a moment of worry, but I now briefly think about it rather than park myself in it. Not only do I feel less anxious, but I also feel more trusting. Since I’m rewiring my attitude to see the glass half full, I’m rewriting my history by storing what’s working well in my memory bank.

Just last week we were headed to my uncle’s for Thanksgiving dinner. I’m Armenian, so that’s pretty much all we speak at family gatherings. These events can be stressful for my husband, who doesn’t understand a word. I had a moment of concern, but also thought about all the reasons why dinner could go really well - how he and my uncle would probably get along well, how my cousins’ kids always add so much cheer, etc. I felt grateful for my husband for being there with me and grateful for my family for welcoming him. Dinner didn’t only go well, it went great.

Presence.

I typically enter the holidays with a mantra of “Brace yourself. Hold your breath. It’ll all be over soon enough.” Great attitude if you want to actually relax and enjoy the time with your friends and family. Instead of a slow down, I do a dread down. I usually feel oppressed (a tad dramatic, I know) by the gatherings, the shopping, the parties, etc. 

Thanks to a wonderful start to my holidays with last week’s Thanksgiving dinner, I’m genuinely looking forward to the remaining two. Gratitude is helping me enjoy each moment. I no longer want to rush through it; I want to savor it. I want to connect with friends and family, give to those around me and celebrate.

Final Take

Thanks to the beginning of my gratitude practice on Thankfulfor, I began seeing the magic in my life again. Whether these experiences were already happening, I’m grateful that I can now see them with clarity, wonder and appreciation.

So if, and only if, you’re truly ready to welcome gratitude’s powerful influence, will it serve as a constant reminder of what you’re doing plenty of and what’s going right for you. You too will hopefully feel a heightened sense of optimism, trust and presence. You’ll be dancing with life, aware of how much you have and how rich you feel...in love and in character.